“So I pack Rosie up and head to the urgent care where I am informed that they do not accept Rosie’s health insurance, which means I have that pleasure of paying cash for this visit. And because the universe gets pleasure from torturing me, the doctor happened to be a total babe. A total babe with a bare ring finger. Dig, if you will, a picture: Rosie is throwing a tantrum, understandably so, because she feels miserable. She is using me as a human tissue, which I can’t blame her for because I look like something snot should be wiped on, in my yoga pants that have never actually seen yoga, my sweatshirt I’ve been rocking for at least three days, and my limp ponytail which is 97% dry shampoo. Also I’m not confident I washed my face today. Also, Rosie decided to take a massive dump to welcome Hot Doctor into the examination room.
What I’m saying is I’m not holding my breath for a marriage proposal from Dr. McSteamy.” –Elizabeth Friedland
After reading Elizabeth’s post on FB, and clicking on her blog, about her experiences as a single foster Mom, the thought dawned on me that this woman who has chosen to save babies by giving them her heartbeat to rest upon, and a safe, loving environment until they find their forever family, will never receive a “thank you.” She gives warmth, diapers, doctors visits, cuddles, sleepless nights and the purest form of love…unconditionally.
She tells her story honestly, and in reflecting upon her difficulties, down moments and doubts as a single, foster care Mom, she enables us to see how she transforms her vulnerability…
“Tonight was a perfect storm of suck. Tonight is one of those nights I feel like I made a mistake becoming a single foster parent. Tonight is one of those nights where I feel so very alone.”
“A little more than a year ago, I made the decision to become a foster mom. Though I’m single, have no biological children, and have a demanding career, the pull of fostering could not be ignored. Fifteen months later, I’ve been a proud foster mom to five little ones, from a newborn baby girl I picked up straight from the hospital, to a charmingly mischievous toddler with a guac obsession.
Today, work was crazy, my foster son was extra fussy from teething, and I scrapped my diet to instead bake cookies. My life — a single woman raising foster children on her own while holding down a corporate job and trying to find Mr. (or Ms.) Right on the side — just simply wouldn’t have been possible even a generation ago. We as women have come so, so far. (As Gloria Steinem once famously said, “We have become the men we’ve wanted to marry.”)
But yet we’re still often valued for and judged by our physical appearance. Even today I found myself focusing on my extra 20 pounds rather than giving myself credit for all I’ve done — like yesterday, when my childcare plans fell through and I didn’t skip a beat. Instead, I took my foster son to the office and led my meetings with an infant strapped to me.
I hope all of you stop to give yourself a pat on the back for making it all happen. Women are unstoppable forces — and we should never forget that.”
If you are interested in how to become a foster parent, you can find her answers to common questions on this podcast or on iTunes, Instant Mom: Single and Fostering. There is a huge need for foster parents, so check with your state Department of Child services to learn more about becoming a foster parent.
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