First Date Disaster #33


Who brings their 14 year old daughter on a first date?

He showed up at the arranged meeting place – Starbucks – and said, “Hi, I’m really sorry. This is kind of awkward, my daughter’s plans fell through at the last minute, and I didn’t want to cancel our first meeting, so I brought her with me. Meet Julia.”

I looked at her. She looked at me. I held out my hand. She shook it.

He said, “Julia, would you mind ordering a Unicorn Frap and waiting in that corner while we talk?”

I interrupted, flashed a huge smile, and said, “Julia, why don’t you join us?”

He beamed, “That is so kind of you!”

Like I’d send a 14 year old girl to the corner.

After her father took our order and moved towards the counter, she gave me the rolling-eyes once over and started firing questions:

  • “How old are you?”
  • “Have you ever been married?
  • “Do you have kids?”
  • “Do you want kids?”
  • “Are you Vegan?”
  • “My Mom is prettier than you. Are you the jealous type?”
  • “My Dad has me every weekend. Would that be a problem for you?”
  • “He dumped his last girlfriend with a text message. She was 25 years old. Do you drink? She sure did.”

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