Embrace an Organyc Lifestyle
“Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.”
–Eminem feat. Rihanna
Relationships are not always the breakfast in bed, picnic in the park, kissing under the starry sky love stories we read about in romance novels. However, they may create that flush of hot, fluttery stuff that spreads from your toes to your cheeks even as we struggle with life’s daily difficulties. When a couple grows and evolves together, the love songs playing on the radio seem to reflect all of our emotions, yet you know your romance is heading for the tubes when Eminem and Rihanna lyrics start to hit a little too close to home.
Then, of course, there’s old school Britney Spears:
“The taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic I’m slippin’ under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic?
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic?”
Beware of the partner who manipulates you, makes you feel insecure, defective, or guilty. He or she may say, “The problem is not me, IT’S YOU!” “Toxic” partners poison situations and people by injecting anxiety, insecurity, poor self-esteem and guilt into relationships.
A toxic partner typically manifests the following behaviors:
- Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde moments: while a complex personality may be extremely attractive as you never get bored, the problem occurs when the personality becomes complicated. Mood swings and unpredictability make life exhausting.
- It’s all about him/her: Your co-workers have totally stressed you out, and you come home with a preoccupied face – he/she takes it personally. You misunderstood something he said, and it’s your fault because you should have understood. You want to talk about politics, he doesn’t so you have to change the topic of conversation.
- Manipulation: He knows your weaknesses and plays on them – guilt, victimism, rivalry. He keeps his hand on the metaphorical knife, ready to plunge.
- Ultimatums: You are either with him or against him, you either do it his way or bye bye.
- It’s never his fault, so he never apologizes: Whatever happens, he didn’t do it. If you are depressed or sad because of his neglectful behavior, it’s your fault. You need to listen more, you need to do more, he always does more than you, loves more than you. He is not totally convinced he needs you, so you never truly feel loved; however he does need you to be able to dump on you – all of his faults, problems, misunderstandings and negativity.
- Always the victim: Whenever you meet, he cannot wait to talk to you about the latest tragedy that wasn’t his fault: a job disagreement, an argument with a friend. It’s the world against him in every situation in his life.